|Speedy Boys is a wretched piece of pretension
directed by aging video director James Herbert. To be fair, this
film was in the Frontier section dedicated to "experimental" films, but
man... How did gay soft-core porno get into this festival?
Scene I: A nude pretty boy on a bed. A flash of a woman's nipple. More of the nude man lying around touching himself to annoying, screeching violin "music."
Scene II: This scene suggests a kind of "reverse pedophilia," if you can imagine that. Next...
Scene III: Two pretty boys and a woman of undetermined ethnicity with an uncropped pubis engage in nude interpretive dance. A lot of rolling around and caressing, but no boners... yet.
Scene IV: The woman narrates a physical description of the nude pretty boys as they languish and pout for the camera. Retarded.
Scene V: This is where the film feigns heterosexuality, creating a sex scenario between one of our nude boys and a young Italian girl.
Scene VI: We get a bit of dialogue here, and with the pretty nude boys now engaged in a love triangle the talking amongst them plays like a Euro MTV Real World episode. We get to see a boner in this scene.
Scene VII: In a jealous hissy fit, one nude boy jumps the other and we're treated to a nude wrestling match on a paint drop cloth. Cut To: Nude boys drinking wine and eating bread in the afternoon sun.
Scene VIII: I walk out of the theater.